i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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