:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize