I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
