dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
