I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
