so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
