is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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