I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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