I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
