What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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