He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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