I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
