I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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