David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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