you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
