The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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