so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize