OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
