I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
