Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
operation have a gay friend backfired
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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