seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
