This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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