I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
me + whiskey = a bad person
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
