I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
