Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
