it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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