So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize