Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
