Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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