so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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