Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
