Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
