Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
