sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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