This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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