I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize