shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
