The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
