I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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