OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
