why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
