I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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