I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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