using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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