know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
