There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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