I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
