Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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