so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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