If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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