That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
