Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
