using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
