some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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