Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
