some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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