Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
