I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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