Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
