So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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