she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
