There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
