Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
