if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
