Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
