I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
